Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

These are the lyrics to an awesome song!

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth.

Reality...March 23 by Rob

It is really amazing how God works wonders in your life. All the anxiety and questions of meeting Berline drained away in an instant. It was if we were supposed to be together from the moment she was born. A moment that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

When we bounced down that bumpy road leading to the orphanage my anxiety was building. I was just moments away from climbing down off the truck and walking over to Berline for the first time and saying Hi. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I just prayed a simple prayer asking God to help me find the words. The truck rumbled to a stop and everyone started to get off. I could see some of the girls waiting on the porch away from the gate.

Christy had described to me what arrival was like when she was there in January. Farah would be waiting to kiss you, the rest of the girls would be huddled around waiting to hug you as you entered the gate. You would get your stuff and put it by the door and then spend the next hour meeting and hanging out with the girls. You would eventually be able to go upstairs and claim a room and the real fun would start, experiencing Haiti. It never really worked out that way for me.



As I climbed down from the truck with my video camera in tow I was surprised that none of the girls really made a move toward the gate. Kurt was standing outside and he looked at one of the older girls and told her to go get Berline. I thought to myself is this really happening? I reached for the video camera as she walked out and turned it on. I was determined to capture this moment to share with Christy and the girls. Kurt turned to Berline and said in a broken Creole, "Do you want him to be your poppy and go to the United States?" Berline, in a very soft and sweet voice, said "Wi, I love you poppy" and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. My heart melted! Then she turned and walked off and I was left standing there trying to process what had just happened. I had no idea what to do next!



My First Picture of Berline



A myriad of emotions ran through me. What did it mean? What should I do? Does she really understand what is happening? I carried my stuff upstairs and picked the last room on the right. The room was over the kitchen and connected to the only single bedroom upstairs. I set my stuff on the bed. I was a bit frazzled. I rummaged through my suitcase and pulled out the photo album and went back downstairs to find Berline. Berline was sitting in a chair with Faguline. I walked up to her and put out my hand. She took my hand and we walked over to the steps and sat down.



We started going through the photo album picture by picture. In my best broken Creole I would try to tell her who everyone was. We looked at pictures of our family. She kept getting Christy and Savanna confused. She would see Emma and call her Eeeema. It was all quiet funny. In the back of the album Christy had included photos from her trip in January of Berline and of the other girls. These photos really caught her attention. For the first time you could see the light bulb come on and I believe that Berline was starting to put things in their place. She remembered Christy! We finished looking at the album and I needed to go upstairs to put my stuff away. This was the moment when everything changed.

The ride of my life...March 23

Port au Prince is a very big city.  It has a population of over 2,000,000 and it is situated in a natural bay that shelters it from most of the effects of hurricane season.  Port au Prince is a pirate town. Jean Lafitte, the last of the great pirates, was born in Port au Prince during the time of the American Revolution. Port au Prince is also a city of contrasts, Pétionville is very rich and modern section boasting shops and restaurants  while Cité Soleil is very poor and destitute with slums and tent cities.  A little of everything can be seen in Port au Prince. 

The biggest thing that I noticed when we left the airport was the tent cities. You pull out onto the main road and immediately there are tents.  Blue tents, white tents, grey tents, pieces of tents that go on for miles.  Tents stacked on top of each other, open sewers, living conditions that seem almost inhumane. People everywhere!  Children in dirty clothes with both sad and smiling faces.  Adults sitting and talking in the shade of garbage piles. This is daily life in Port au Prince. It is a hard life that is full of injustice.

We traveled for what seemed like hours in the back of the truck watching the scenery slowly creep by.  It became monotonous.  The same views over and over - tents and rubble.  I checked my watch and realized that we had been traveling somewhere around an hour.  We continued on and the scenery changed from broken buildings to more grass and trees.  Haiti was starting to look tropical.  We finally made it to the edge of PAP and there was a slow down - A Traffic Jam!  We crept through the back up and finally got to the front of the line where I was able to see what the hold up was.  There was a truck off of the road to the right side.  It appeared that the truck had hit a pedestrian, who was now lying on the ground covered by a sheet with just the top of a head sticking out. People were going on about their business while this poor person's life had just ended tragically.  It is a sad statement on daily life in Haiti.  Conditions are so harsh and people are so used to the difficulties associated with life that death is just another traffic jam.  No sadness, no sirens, no lights, just cars backed up on a highway.

We finally made it to the mountains and the world changed.  Everyone's spirits started to lift and you could tell that each parent was counting the moments until he or she would see their daughter.  We continued up the mountain occasionally passing by kids on their way home from school dressed in different colored uniforms.  Men, women, and children were moving around going from place to place.  Sometimes carrying large loads on their heads, sometimes just walking.  There is no hurry in Haiti. Life is definitely slower and simpler.

We made one final stop on the way in and Alfred, our driver, got out and went to a roadside stand where he bought a bunch of "figs" at the urging of Stacy. Figs are finger size bananas that grow wild in Haiti.  They are gathered by the locals and sold at stands along the road.  The figs were delicious. Sweet and soft, perfectly ripened!  What a treat.

And we were off to the orphanage at Camatin.  We rounded the last bend, started down the hill, and there it was...the fortress on a hill side.  The place I had longed to see for months. 

Getting there....March 23!

I knew that March 23, 2011 was a big day but I didn't realize the true impact it would have on me and how it would truly change my life and the lives of my family.

We arrived at McGee-Tyson at 4:30 AM.  I was nervous, excited, anxious, and a host of other feelings that I cannot describe in print.  I was getting on an airplane at 6:00 AM and heading to Miami then on to Port au Prince.  I would meet my daughter later that day. 

We loaded up 22 bags and 13 people and boarded a small jet.  It was dark and the sky was clear.  You could see lights all over Knoxville and the surrounding community. On the plane I sat next to Preston and we chatted about baseball and other random things.  The conversation was mostly a distraction for the upcoming trip.  The flight was uneventful and it seemed like we were in the air for hours before the sun came up.  It was one of the most beautiful sunrises that I have ever seen.  The air was clear and the true beauty of God's creation shown in through the windows of the plane.  Then we landed in Miami, only a few short hours until we would take off and touch down in Port au Prince.

We moved through the concourse at Miami International until we got to Gate 22 at around 8:00 AM. We were one of the first groups to arrive. The gate was empty except for a few bored Haitians sitting around waiting for the journey home. We had around 1 hour and 30 minutes until boarding of the plane for Haiti.  You could tell from the tension in the air that everyone on the team was excited about the flight in.  Some went to Nathan's and got hotdogs and chili for breakfast, some went to the gift shop and bought water, some just sat quietly and made small talk.  I went for a short walk to relieve some of the tension and call Christy.  When I returned to Gate 22 it was slowly filling with passengers that would accompany us to Haiti. At approximately 9:15 AM the boarding started. My group was called and I lugged my carry-on and backpack onto the plane and sat down in Seat 25B for the flight over.

On the plane I sat next to Kurt Rudd.  We chatted through out the flight discussing what and how I should tell Berline that I wanted to be her daddy and that I wanted her to come to the Etazzini and live.  How do you tell a five year old Haitian girl that you want her to be part of your family?  What did she really understand about what was going to happen and what was happening?  What did this crazy blanc want?  What did it mean for her future? What did it mean for our future? In about 2 hours we touched down in PAP.  

Getting off the plane in PAP was uneventful.  I loaded up my stuff but it was like any other airport in every third world country; not a lot of frills, little air conditioning, and lots of people. We boarded a crowded bus and headed to immigration.  We waited in line for a bored government worker to stamp our passports and collect our bags.  We proceeded through the final steps of immigration and it hit me when we walked outside.  I was in Haiti. 

My first impression of Haiti was chaos.  It was like being in Nassau except that no one wanted to braid my hair, no one wanted to rent me a scooter, or "Only $3.00 to ride the water taxi".    We were following a guy named Big, who was our ticket to the Harvest Fields/Whitestone Truck.  We made our way to the truck and everyone kept asking, "So what do you think?"  I really didn't think much at that point except that I feels like I have been here before.  I think the combination of the heat, humidity, dust, and slightly salty tang of the ocean air made it feel like the Caribbean.  The difference was what I saw.

Haiti is not like the rest of the Caribbean.  Most of the time the area surrounding the airport is relatively nice. In PAP the first thing I saw was an older gentleman standing outside of the fence begging for money.  The one thing I immediately noticed was that he was missing a leg.  Then I began to see the condition of the country.  There was trash and rubble everywhere.  There was traffic flying by and roadside stands set up to sell food.  The realization that we were here hit me.  I had a mix of feelings the least of which was nervousness, the most of which was excitement.  My sense of adventure had kicked in and I couldn't wait to see what was ahead on that twisting path that had brought me to this tiny, poor nation in the Caribbean.